Imperfect

Thursday morning, I am sitting in the backseat of my mother's white Chevrolet Tahoe in awe. Presently, I can see and feel that there is still love between the lovebirds. It's a complex type of love, but it is LOVE. I am speaking of my mother and father. As I am writing this blog, my mother is in the passenger seat and my father is driving us down US-78 E. Completely unaware, that my parents are about to make a hefty price tag purchase. As an observer, I am allowing myself to view my parents through a different lens. My parents are imperfect human beings, which was troublesome to accept for many years. Blame my Virgo perfectionist trait, it's difficult to turn the switch off 😫. Most days, I have to remind myself humans aren't perfect. I am human. My parents are human. Humans are imperfect.

This summer, my parents had the pleasure of relearning their baby girl. No longer a child, she is an adult. Some of the questions; I imagine my parents had for their baby girl. How much has their baby girl changed over the years? The southern traditions that were instilled in their baby girl, are they still there? Why has our baby girl left the south? Will she return home?

Yes, the south raised me, but I have found out there is so much more to the world. I have chosen not to live in the conservative south. It is so many layers to someone’s story. But, should we disclose all the details to our story. I find myself asking, what are your intentions? No matter the type of relationship. If we knew the true intentions of human beings that enter our lives 😮. I believe, it could save a lot of heartbreaks 💔. All in all, the human being must be honest with their intentions. As we know, it can be difficult for some humans to be truthful.

Should everyone be able to peel back all the layers of your life story? Before revealing your life story, ask yourself this question. Is she, he, or they worthy of my life story? Observing my parents this summer has been an experience. I will be able to cherish those moments we shared forever 💗.

Dear mother and father, I have chosen to live bicoastal. Before I place myself anywhere long term, I am observing extensively. Life has taught me, I must observe the person, place, or thing before I plant my body in the soil. I haven’t found the antidote to cure the trembles I feel inside when I am home. When I find the antidote, I will return home to the deep south. I am my father's child.

                                                                                                          - Filmmaker LaToya 🎞

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Lastly, here's another poem from my book of poetry 📕

THIS IS ME

BY LaToya D. Lee

My communication skills aren't the best

Writing is my best form of communication

You are an avid reader, but will you need more

Will my writings not be enough to sustain LOVE?

The child

Silenced by her parents

Ultimately, caused the communication skills to suffer

As a child

I had to process most of my emotional moments alone

As an adult

I still process my chaotic moments alone

This is Me

The Love, I have for her makes me want to do life better

I want her soul to feel safe here

I want her to be heard

I want to give her my undivided attention

I want her to Rest her soul without fear

I want her to be safe in my presence

In our sacred place

I want her to be seen clearly

By me

Rest your soul here

I will protect it from harm

Still

I want my voice to be heard by her

I want to be understood by her

I want us to meet in the middle

Understanding

How we do life?

How we experience life?

Sometimes, I shut down

It is not intentional

Can we be gentle with each other's shortcomings?

Can we deliver are words with tender, love, and care?

Can we be gentle with each other's heart?

I am a rebel

She is a rebel

Clashing with each other

I rebel against the strong-arm tactics

It is not as though her words aren't accurate

It is not that I don't want to listen

We have come full circle

The child

Silenced by her parents

Now

Rebel against, complying to rules

As an adult

She respond better to gentle communication

This is Me

Making sure, I am being heard

Making sure, my voice isn't silenced

Still

I will listen to her needs and her wants

Gently, say what you need from me

I am imperfect

Daily, can she be patient with me?

Her feelings are valid here

Her opinions matter here

Her heart is safe here

Still

When the communication is not syncing correctly

Will I still be safe in her arms?

Safety is my Top Priority

Mind, Body, and Soul

Am I safe with her?

Safety is my Top Priority

I will always choose safety for my mind, body, and soul

This is Me

Thank you again for your support! Peace ✌🏾  #filmmakerlatoyagang  

Connect with me on social media @filmmakerlatoya (all platforms).