Imani

I found this photo in my mom's old wallet. My twin sister and I 🥰

Hey family, how strong is your faith? Has the heaviness of life shaking your faith? I would like to speak on unshakeable faith. When life really test your faith in the worst possible way. How do you rise above the pain? Life really tested my faith within the past 5 years, to the point where I asked GOD why did you allow destruction of this relationship. Let's get into the blog!  

My relationship between my twin sister and I started to unravel in 2019. A bond so close to my heart, nothing could have prepared me for the disconnect we underwent. We experienced the worst together. We were in life's boxing ring, fighting opponents blow for blow, round for round, TOGETHER. I understood her pains and I understood the awkwardness that others thought was weird. She understood my weirdness and she understood my pains as well. Still the closeness of our bond became unraveled. Something had broken our bond and I could not repair it. Someone had taken my partner in crime, stolen a piece of me, and I did not know how to retrieve it from the thief in the night. This life test shook me to the core ❤️‍🩹. I became unraveled for a span of time.

A unknown opponent had landed a clean punch on my target areas. I was knocked down by an opponent who I did not know I needed to blocked. Who was my opponent? The Church 💒. These so called "Christians" landed a punch with force and according to them 'no rules have been broken'. AND SUPPOSEDLY, these are people of God. BABY, GOD is looking down and saying "Job Not Well Done" 🤨.

Still, I stood strong in my faith. Yes, I could have lost my faith, but why let the enemy win. During this time, I started to fall apart emotionally and mentally. Why? Because, I was attempting to save our bond. But, it was irreparable. She was in someone else's care. Also, I discovered I was drowning trying to help someone BE FREE, who thought she was already FREE. Not knowing, she was in the chains of religion. I was losing control due to stress, becoming overwhelmed, and losing my stability in life. I had to let go and SAVE MYSELF. During this time, my faith became stronger and more unshakeable.

God works in mysterious ways. Within ALL the pain, GOD provided a lifeline to my twin sister and I this holiday season! The reconnection allowed us to talk some things through. We discovered we aren't going to agree on every subject matter and that's okay. Realizing our bond is something that is needed and we must find ways to work through our conflicts. Also, I could tell my sister needed to see the light. The light I carry is bright ✨. Sometimes, I have to share my light with others. Sometimes, good souls have to give some of their energy to people who are needing light. I will share more on this in another blog. So, on our car ride back to Atlanta, I met my twin sister with grace and love 💗. Shined my light her way ✨. Let her see there is light in this world. Informed her, life is more than the pain the media outlets pushes on our people. There are times broken people need positive people around to show them there is light within the world. Also, I realized I should not end a relationship cold turkey. Just because, I don't want to deal with our difficult moments, doesn't mean I should end ALL communication. Communicating can change an outcome. Sometimes our mind tells us, the outcome will not go well, but what if it does go well. This holiday season, I let my twin sister know if she needs me, pick up the phone. I am one call away. Also, I let my twin sister know, I will love her always. Don't let your mind tell you differently.

Still, a separation was needed for us to communicate effectively. Because, broken people can begin to break you down. Do not allow these people to break you down. If you shown them the light and they still are remaining in darkness, PLEASE let them go for your sake. I am realizing some people are stronger than others. Some people can handle pain better. Some people gather pain and do not know how to release it. These people are holding pain and do not know how to discard it. It's important to have positive people around the weak, they need to be embrace, shown their greatness. Still, do not allow these people to break you. And, check up on the strongest people within your circle. Just because, the strongest can handle trials and tribulations better, doesn't mean these people don't need reassuring too.

Which brings me to: A MATTER OF THE HEART ❤️. My parents are aging and somewhat troublesome to accept. I am realizing it is happening and I must face it. I was on the phone with my mother as I was driving to my hometown for the holidays. My mother tells me "I am tired" 🥹. Can I paint this picture 🧑🏾‍🎨? My mother is apart of a generation where their pain is not discussed. This generation allows their children to see the parents as strong and unbreakable. My mother is apart of the 'I must be a strong woman for my family' generation. As a woman, I know that is massive to carry. When my mother said, 'I am tired', I knew the underlying message. I understood it took a lot for her to say those words. Telling your siblings what our mom is trying to communicate, but they are not really understanding the hidden important message.

GOD gives certain assignments to certain people. And being chosen is GOD trusting you with a plan that must be carried out correctly. Everyone isn't chosen. Why? Because, some people misuse their power / their GOD given Gifts. That's another subject matter 🤦🏾‍♀️. Knowing your calling is Bigger than you. This is massive to carry. Knowing you are the chosen person that will change the family tree forever. Massive to carry. I know. Sometimes it gets HEAVY. Sometimes you may think about dropping the heavy load. But, it's so important that you don’t, because it's Bigger than you  ✨. GOD chose you for a reason. Some people understand the importance of carrying out their calling. And some people don't understand the importance. I am one of those people who understand the importance. I know, the importance of my creative gifts. I know, I must see the calling through. Bigger than me and Bigger than my pain. Some people say, I take life too seriously. That's because, I know the importance of my calling is serious. I have tunnel vision for a reason. I know, walking within your purpose is crucial. GOD has chosen you for a reason. GOD has chosen me for a reason ✨.

-Filmmaker LaToya 🎞

If you feel the need to share this post with someone, please do! #filmmakerlatoyagang 

Side bar: My calling is beyond my community. This new chapter of my life is allowing me to see the rigorous pain the world has inflicted upon our people, our community, and our women. Terrifying to observe. I am in tears on some nights. Sent into a silent rage. Things need to be undone. Massive work must be done. Are you ready for higher purpose? Bigger than me ✨. Bigger than you ✨. Massive to Carry ✨ -MUCH LOVE FAMILY ❤️.

Next Blog: I will release a new poem from my book of poetry 📗!

Thank you again for your support! Happy Kwanzaa 🪔 #filmmakerlatoyagang  

Connect with me on social media @filmmakerlatoya (all platforms).