Book
of
Poetry 📗

She has every right to walk away from ‘This Love’

She has every right to be FREE from ‘This Love’

Gone for years

Promising for years

Time is needed to bring a vision into fruition

Transparency was not provided

Why was I dragging out 

The Creative Process?

Frighten of

‘The Art’

Frighten of

‘The Dream’

Frighten of

Revealing truths

Hidden sacred parts of me

Frighten of it ALL

No longer okay with being silence

About any of it

The inner pain

The soul cries

The darkness and The light

Things have changed

I have been woken up

It was selfish of me

To ask her to wait for ‘LOVE’

But

Is her soul home?

Honesty is needed from both parties

Joy, Peace, Abundance,

Unwavering Love

Is she currently holding these things?

Honesty is needed from both parties

My apologies for being in the wilderness for so long

And

I won’t fail to mention she has not played FAIR in the ‘Game of Love’

Put ‘love’ through the ringer

Given me heart aches

Don’t I have every right to walk away from ‘This Love’

Don’t I have every right to be FREE from ‘This Love’

Still

The ‘Love’ I have for her won’t go away

What should I do?

Do I let 'our love' dry up like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore – and then run

I won’t fail to mention

I ran away so long from ‘This Love’ 

But 

She is about to catch up with me

She is capturing my heart more and more daily

I can no longer run away from ‘This Love’

She is insisting 

That I surrender

Persisting

ALL cards on the table

Now

I can no longer ‘be guarded’

What’s going on?

I want to rest ‘properly’ 

Next to her

What’s going on?

I was okay with letting 'Love' fly free

I was okay with carrying the heavy load 

I was ‘okay’ with not showing up for ‘Love’

I was 'okay' with letting her choose someone else 

I was ‘okay’ with her doing life with someone else

I am asking

What’s going on?

No longer am I ‘okay’ with letting ‘Love’ sag

No longer am I ‘okay’ with not showing up for ‘Love’

What’s going on?

‘I know’

‘Love’ makes you surrender

‘Love’ knows how to return home

Have you ever heard a soul cry?

The ‘soul’ don’t lie

‘Listen’ to your soul

It will lead you home

I was ‘okay’ with letting my body deteriorate ‘over time’

My ‘soul’ wasn’t ‘okay’ with the foolishness

And

I am ‘glad’ for it

I am ‘Asking’

Is the door open for ‘true love’

Has ‘love’ settled for other options

‘After All’

She has every right to walk away from ‘This Love’

Gone for years

And

Still

I want to experience this ‘Love’ for ‘eternity’

Am I too late for ‘true love’?

‘After All’

She has every right to walk away from ‘This Love’

I have every right to walk away from ‘This Love’

And

Still

I am ‘Asking’

Is the door open for us to ‘Love’ for eternity?

Let’s go ‘back in time’

Open the door to the older generation ‘sayings’

The ‘older generation’ would say

That baby is ‘troubled’

‘Hard to Love’

Baby, if you can’t handle the heat 

Get out of the kitchen

Yo baby, is a ‘troublemaker’ 

‘A boat rocker’

‘A storm raiser’

A troubled child who needs

‘More Love’

‘More Care’

‘MORE’

I told myself that type of person isn’t ‘FOR ME’

I don’t want to 'sail the seas' with a ‘troublemaker’

‘A boat rocker’

‘A storm raiser’

A ‘shaker’ of the ‘calm waters’

But

‘Opposites attract’

I fell for a ‘storm’ who is ‘worthy to love’

Grandma

I fell for a ‘boat rocker’

A ‘storm raiser’

A ‘troublemaker’

What should I do?

Baby, if you can handle the heat

Stay in the kitchen with ‘Yo Troublemaker’

Baby, if you know how to ‘Tame the Beast’

Stay in the kitchen with ‘Yo Troublemaker’

Baby, if you can help ‘find shelter’ within their ‘storm’

Stay in the kitchen with ‘Yo Troublemaker’

Baby, if you cannot do any of these things

Get out of the kitchen

And

Grandchild, I wanna know

What do you want?

And

How do you feel?

Grandma

I must see ‘Her Hands’

She must drop ‘ALL’ her ‘weapons’

And

I will stay in the kitchen with ‘my troublemaker’

I will be ‘the peace’ within the ‘chaos’

I will be the ‘safe shelter’ within ‘ALL’ her ‘storms’

Grandchild, I wanna know

What are you?

Transparency

Yes, ‘my sweet baby’

A ‘Wonderer’

At times

I am ‘Hidden’ 

‘Unavailable’

I can’t be ‘found’

‘So deep’ within my ‘creative work space’

She can’t ‘find me’ 

She have to ‘travel’ so far to ‘reach me’

I 'disappear’ for ‘long periods of time’ 

‘So much so’

You would think

I don’t want to ‘return home’

Oh, ‘my sweet baby’

Yes, ‘I know’

Grandma

‘I pray’ when I am ‘traveling within the universe’ 

She looks ‘for me’ 

She ‘finds me’

‘Brings me back home’

And 

‘I pray’ she ‘always knows’

I will ‘always come back to her’

Oh, ‘my sweet babies’

A ‘Wonderer’

And

A ‘Troublemaker’

Oh, ‘my sweet babies’ 

Grandchild

Why do you wanna ‘sail the seas’ with a ‘troublemaker’?

I love her

And 

She has taught me 

LOVE needs Both

‘A boat rocker’

And

‘A peacemaker’

Honestly

Lately 

I’ve been wanting to ‘Rock the Boat’

‘Disturb' the ‘calm waters’ 

No longer ‘okay’ with ‘Rumbling Softly’

I understand ‘my sweet baby’

Y’all go ahead

‘Rock the Boat’

‘Disturb' the ‘calm waters’ 

Just make sure y’all come home 

Bring ya selves back to shore ‘safely’

And grandchild

Promise me 

You will allow ‘Yo Troublemaker’ to ‘Rock the Boat’ 

OFTEN 

Promise grandma 

Anything else you wanna tell  ‘Yo Troublemaker’

I’m by her side ‘Always’

‘Through every Storm’ 

‘My Sweet Babies’

Y’all make me proud

My ‘Peacemaker’

And

My ‘Troublemaker’ 

Go Ahead ‘Rock the Boat’

Sitting with myself 

Asking these questions

Why are we connected?

Why is it difficult to unravel this connection?

Is she sitting with herself

Asking these questions

On certain days, I don't want to be connected to her

I am exhausted from explaining

She's doing it her way

That’s cool by me

Now

It is her time to go through it 

She can do it this lifetime or drag it to the next lifetime 

It is so much bigger than this ‘moment in time’ 

Forget the fact that I loved her 

It is work to be done 

Even though we are exhausted from it ALL

The work must be done 

When she goes deep within 

What happens within her spirit?

More questions

It is so much deeper than her and I

We started this journey lifetimes ago

But

We must continue the journey 

To freedom 

Our community needs us

If we don't follow the calling

We will be restless throughout this lifetime 

It is so much deeper than her and I 

I have not ever had an issue with letting go 

It is my creative gifts that tells me that we need each other to carry our community to freedom 

Always knew

It was so much bigger than her and I 

She gotta go through it 

She can avoid this door 

But

We are restless for a reason 

Restless 

And work still has to be done 

Don’t go through the door

We all have choices

But

Why are we restless? 

Still

I will continue to walk the path to freedom 

Time is not of the essence

But

This time, I will do it my way

Always knew

It was so much bigger than her and I

Restless 

Did I agree to the complexities of love?

Not sure

For me

Love is too complicated 

Too many stages 

Close to the center

Love makes you search

Your inner

Love is full of rain  

Can you feel the heavy rain pouring onto your skin?

LOVE is heavy

Love makes you feel 

Can you take the pain?

Love makes you sad

I feel the tears forming in my eyes

Not tears of joy either

I am shaking

The release is happening

It is shaky

Love is shaky

Can you feel the storm coming?

I am crying again

I was told a rainbow comes after the storm

But

Do you see it?

LOVE 

Do you see it?

Love makes you happy

Smile

Joy wants to show up

Ready for love

Not sure yet

Why?

The pain has not seized

But

A new beginning is coming

Healing

Healing is coming

LOVE is healing

But

The pain has not seized

Can you process it? 

Why?

A new beginning is coming

Ready love

Not sure yet

Love is you

But

There is pain 

A new beginning is coming

Ready love

Not sure yet

Why?

LOVE made me foolish

LOVE made me enrage 

And

What?

LOVE made you heal 

A new beginning is coming

Ready love

Yes

Here comes the disconnect

The release is happening

Ready yet

Is ‘LOVE’ me?

Yes

Ready now?

I...

What?

I have more words to say

What?

Love was not what I thought it would be

Love changed me

What did you think love was?

I...

Bliss and Paradise?

Yes

Love is not what you think 

The release is happening

Are you ready now?

Yes

Did it hurt?

What?

Love, did it hurt?

Yes

The release is happening

Breathe

Process

Release

The tears are no longer forming in my eyes

Congrats

You weathered the storms of LOVE

All her different stages of life

Ready?

Yes 

I am ready

And

I have more words to say

What?

LOVE was not enough to make me stay

Why?

Emotions were too expansive when it came to LOVE

I was not ready for Love

The release is happening

I am free 

The rainbow is coming soon 

Be ready

Ready for?

For new 

It is arriving soon 

New 

Stages of LOVE

Literally

I have to feel it

As a creative artist

I have to touch the earth surface

Touch the trees  

Feel the ocean water

I have to touch things to feel alive

Dig my hands in the soil 

Dig my hands in the sand  

Lay in the grass 

Without a yoga mat 

Without a blanket 

Lay right in the sun 

Let it burn my skin 

Literally

I have to feel it

Loosen up the tight grip

Get dirty 

Sand on your body

Paint on your hands

Paint on your body

Paint on your clothes  

Sometimes 

Get muddy 

Literally 

Feel it

It makes you feel alive

Sit in the pain

Sometimes

Sink in it 

It reminds you

Everything you’re doing isn’t in vain 

Literally 

You have to feel it

Feeling it

Helps with the creative process

Feeling it

Helps enhance the creative gifts

Feeling it

Helps with creating amazing artwork

Gifts are amplified in spaces of

Feeling it

May seem confusing or unclear 

But 

Sitting with 

Sinking in

And 

Feeling 

Life pains and joys

Illuminates a better artist

Feeling it

Allows you to follow your purpose 

Feeling it

Allows you to continue your life mission

The pains and joys

You must feel it

It allows you to enjoy

Life pains and joys

Helps loosen up the tight grips 

We have on ourselves

Literally 

Feeling it

Helps amplify our gifts

Life can be unfair

Why not?

Feel it sometimes

Can I hold your hand in the rain?

Can I hold your hand in this midst of pain?

Can I hold your hand in the midst of the storm?

Can I hold your hand to show you everyone isn’t here to be heartless?

Can I hold your hand when the world feels cold?

Can I show you someone will love you forever?

Can I hold your hand to lead you through what seems impossible?

Can I hold your hand through your darkest hours?

Can I hold your hand in the moments of joy?

Can I hold your hand when you can’t see the way?

Can I hold your hand through  life's difficult moments?

Can I hold your hand through life shakiness?

Can I hold your hand throughout this lifetime?

I want to hold your hand through it All

Grab my hands I want to show you what love is

Grab my hands I want to show you what love should be

Grab my hands I want to show you what love will be

Grab my hands and let’s watch the sunset together

Grab my hands and let’s visit the unknown together

Grab my hands for I will love you forever and always

Can I hold your hand?

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